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I mentioned in my previous blog that I told my husband a few details about my awakening and how Allah had shown me signs, colors, etc. My husband was naturally curious about this a few days after him and I had a conversation about my marriage. He didn't understand what this "awakening" thing was about. He said he couldn’t find anything about awakenings, signs, or spiritual unveiling in Islam- not in the Qur’an, not online, not in any lecture. And, honestly… neither could I.

I was planning on having a conversation with my husband the day I got back. From the moment he came to pick me up at the airport, the weight of that conversation sat in my chest. I wanted to tell him about my dream.. and more importantly- tell him that in my heart, our marriage had ended. We had talked before about the places we fell short with one another, but this time it was different. This time it wasn’t about fixing anything. It was about truth. He was so happy when he p

When I was flying back home, I genuinely thought the awakening was ending. I thought the signs, the colors, the synchronicities- all of it, would stop once I left Tehran. I remember feeling sad about it on the plane. But I didn’t realize my journey was actually just beginning. Actually- purple and teal became the most powerful color combination in my awakening journey. I didn't know this was the combo until my last day at Tehran. Purple and teal became the most powerful color

It was my last day in Tehran. My last day with Rafiq. I write this one with grief.. longing.. sadness that still sits in my chest. When Rafiq came home from work that day, I could feel it instantly.There was tension in the air. A heaviness.He knew I was leaving.He felt it. Up until this point, nothing between us was addressed. No confession. No apology. No closure. Just silence.. and everything we never said. I started packing in the afternoon.. His wife and younger brother w