Two Red Shirts And One Door.

If there was one moment, just one from my entire stay at Rafiq's house that meant the most to me, it was this night. This was the highlight of everything.

The day itself was ordinary. The usual- breakfast, some family time, going out, watching TV. Nothing special.

That night in particular everyone left the family room and went upstairs. His wife went to bed early. She wasn't feeling well. Rafiq also left.. I thought he went to the rooftop to talk to someone. The family room was just his mother and I.

Normally, I would go upstairs the moment everyone else did. That night I decided to stay in the family room longer..I kept talking to his mom, all while hoping- quietly, secretly.. that Rafiq would come back down. Just once. Just one moment where it was him and I in the same room, without his wife there.

I sat there for a good forty minutes waiting and hoping that he would come down. I don't know why I felt in my heart that he would, that we would have our moment. But he didn't. Time kept passing and he wouldn't come down. I kept looking at the time on my phone thinking to myself.. if he's not down in the next ten minutes, I will just go upstairs.

Ten minutes passed. He didn’t come.

I accepted it. My feeling was wrong. I said goodnight to his mom and went upstairs.

I let it go. I didn’t dwell on it.

I went upstairs and decided to take a shower. While showering, I started feeling hungry. I remembered there was leftover rice in the fridge that his mom had made, so I decided I'd go downstairs after my shower. This was the first time I ever felt hungry that late.

So I took my shower.. quickly dried off.. I changed into a red t-shirt and pajamas. I started fixing my hair, just incase I ran into Rafiq. I knew there's no way I would. It was nearly 1am. Rafiq always went to bed early for work the next day. The house was silent.

But still… a tiny voice inside me kept saying, fix your hair.

I kept trying to fix my hair and wasn't liking it.. I tried and tried.. finally I just put it up in a claw clip and was ready to go down.

And the literal second I finished…

There was a knock on my door.

I froze.

I thought to myself "There's no way."

I literally didn't move because I thought I was imagining the sound. And there came another knock. My heart started beating fast.. because every bone in my body knew who it was behind the door.

I also couldn't believe the timing.. the very moment I was ready to open the door is the moment the knock came..

I slowly opened the door.. And it was Rafiq.

Standing there.. wearing a red t-shirt.. just like me.

It was hilarious. I have no idea how I kept my composure. I knew it- Allah orchestrated that moment. I had already seen colors, signs, pattern, synchronicities - but this one… this one was different. It was too aligned. It wasn't just red, it looked like the same exact shirt.

He told me he needed to switch something off for the water system downstairs and asked if I was done with the shower. I said yes and mentioned I was just about to go downstairs to get food.

I stepped out of my bedroom.. acting normal on the outside, but my internals were screaming. I just couldn't believe what was happening. Rafiq and I, together, alone, in the dark, both matching in red t-shirts, walking down to the kitchen together, when the entire house was asleep.

He helped heat up my food for me. I asked him if he was planning to go to work the next day since he wasn't feeling well.. he said he will see and maybe call off.

It's crazy to think that we both had a deep connection, yet when we were finally alone.. it's like the words left our mouths.. We had to act normal during this encounter even though we both knew there was nothing normal about that moment.

Then he walked me upstairs to my room.

It was a cute moment. It was a sweet moment. Just us two, matching, going downtstairs to get food, the enire house asleep.. It felt like 'home'.

And I know there's no way he didn't notice us matching in red..

As soon as I got back to my bedroom, I was able to let out my true reaction.. I was fangirling so much.. I just couldn't believe that Allah orchestrated this moment between us. It was so simple and yet so perfect..

Earlier that night when I kept waiting for Rafiq to come down and he didn't come down.. it's not that we weren't meant to have our moment, it's that it wasn't the right time. And the way Allah had it planned was better than what I could have planned myself.

That's one moment from my entire stay that I took as Allah's gift.. his mercy on me..

He knew that I got nothing out of that stay. No confession. No apology. No true reunion. No closure.. but he did give me this sweet moment.

I was grateful for it.