Tahajjud Broke The Silence.

The pain of when Rafiq pulled away… I still remember it like it was yesterday. My world turned upside down. My happiness disappeared. My sanity slipped away.

I begged him for answers.. any explanation, any closure, but I got nothing.

Just silence.

I couldn’t understand how everything between us could feel so good, and then suddenly change. How I could go from feeling casual about him to sobbing in pain because of him. None of it made sense.

I had no answers. I had no control. All I could do was pray.

I prayed to Allah endlessly.

"Ya Allah, please let me move on. Take this pain away. Make him feel what I’m feeling. Anything… just don’t leave me like this."

But nothing changed. Days passed. Weeks passed. The pain stayed.

I was drowning in it. I was tired of asking and getting nothing.

One night, out of pure desperation, I messaged a childhood friend just to distract myself from the emotional pain I was going through. I knew it was wrong. I was still a married woman.

But I felt helpless.

And for a moment, it worked. I felt lighter, like maybe I had found a way out of my misery.

That same night, I prayed Tahajjud.

This time, my dua was simple: "Ya Allah, please… just help me move on from Rafiq forever."

But instead of moving on, something else happened.

It was as if Allah flipped a switch in my heart.

Out of nowhere, a quiet knowing washed over me.. that Rafiq loves me and he only pulled away out of fear.

I didn’t understand it. I didn’t even know where that thought came from. But it came right after Tahajjud. I spent the entire night with this thought. But that was the first night when Allah flipped my heart in a totally different direction. I had spent weeks assuming Rafiq had lost total interest in me and made myself suffer over this..

I asked to move on...

yet somehow Allah brought him back into my heart. He changed my emotional pain.. to love, compassion, and understanding. It didn't make sense to me how in one moment, I was ready to move on from him..

Then the next moment my heart was flooded with love.