She Who Heard The Bell.

I mentioned in my previous blog that I told my husband a few details about my awakening and how Allah had shown me signs, colors, etc. My husband was naturally curious about this a few days after him and I had a conversation about my marriage. He didn't understand what this "awakening" thing was about.

He said he couldn’t find anything about awakenings, signs, or spiritual unveiling in Islam- not in the Qur’an, not online, not in any lecture.

And, honestly… neither could I.

Our argument went on and on and it got to a point where he started mocking me and told me that spirits or Jinn have taken over me. He said he would never want to go through this experience.. ouch- that one hurt.

I simply ended the conversation in anger and went upstairs to cool off.

Hours passed. Later in the evening I was craving coffee, so I went for a drive. Every place was closed.. Starbucks. Dunkin. I had to drive back and forth a couple of times.

Taco Bell was the only fast food place open and I never eat Taco Bell, but that night I ended up getting their Freezie drink.

As soon as I got through the Taco Bell drive thru and they handed me my food- I noticed the purple bell sign on the bag. It made me remember my time at Rafiq's house. His mom used to have a small bell she used to ring. I remember telling her that I want a bell just like that.

The memory came back so sharply. I noticed it, but didn’t think too much of it.

After coming back home, I started watching a show.. and to my surprise, the lady's name was also "Belle".

When I checked my phone, there was a notification from an app with a purple bell symbol on it.. at this point I knew something was up. This wasn't random.

As I continued watching my show, I started remember my argument with my husband from earlier in the day. It started making me upset all over again and I started doing research trying to find any proof or anything that all about Islamic Spiritual Awakenings, Kashf, Basirah.

Anything at all..

Nothing.

Not one detailed story.

Not one woman describing what I was living.

And a thought crossed my mind- quietly, but clearly:

What if it’s me?

I didn’t want to believe it. I brushed it away. It felt too big. Too unlikely. Too heavy.

I know that an awakening itself is already rare enough. But the idea that I was meant to share mine? That felt even more unreal.

I asked Allah for a sign- that if this thought is coming from him, make it clear to me.

I stepped out into my kitchen to grab something and my eyes landed on a gift wrapping sheet sticking out of my luggage.. I noticed it had my name all over it.

And on it, in bold letters, it said:

"This Woman Can."

I was in disbelief.. me? Is this actually real? Allah wants me to share my story?

Allah guided me that night to put a voice to my story. There are women out there experiencing exactly what I am. Women who are dismissed, mocked, or told they’re “crazy” because others can’t understand what their hearts have seen.

That night I knew I had to help them by creating my blogs by using my words and my voice to speak about my story. To let other women know they are not alone. That there is language for this. That there is meaning in this. That what they feel is real.

That was the night I created my website. I thought of the name. I started blogging.

That was the night She Who Heard The Bell was born.