"Explosion" "Spill" "Leak" Signs.

The past few days I started getting an overload of signs. At first I kept telling myself to ignore them and how I need to move forward with my life and stop overthinking the signs..

But the signs become way too much to ignore.

They're constant.

My signs include phrases like.. leak, spill, slip, drunk, rage, low, pierce, explode, sick, tears, fights, caught, videos, audios, and many more..

At the same time I've been getting signs of "girls", "cheat", "betray". I am not sure which ones are real and which are a test.

The rain/water/leak signs are huge. It's been raining nonstop for the past few days.. and it hasn't rained in awhile in our area. I got my usual coffee few days ago and it never leaks, but that day it leaked all over me and went all over my car.

I went to go wash my hands in the bathroom and the water from the faucet was splashing everywhere. Even outside of the cafe, the pipes were exploding out water.

I tried to ignore it.

I really did.

But it kept escalating.

I couldn’t make sense of it at first. I searched for answers, for interpretations, trying to ground myself in reason. One explanation I came across suggested that these kinds of “leak” themes can represent emotional pressure- something internal that can’t be contained anymore.

Cracks forming.

Numbness failing.

Distractions no longer working.

The thought that unsettled me most was this:

that the reality of us may finally be catching up to him.

It’s strange, because I waited months for something like this- not for a reunion, not even for contact - just for acknowledgment. For some sign that what we had wasn’t one-sided. That I wasn’t the only one who carried the grief.

At the same it was giving me anxiety because I felt like Allah was pulling me back into this story.

The story that I was finally trying to end in my heart and mind.. the one I was trying to run away from.. was catching up to me.

I didn't understand, why now? Why at that time when I am finally ready to let go and move on?

It was like Allah resumed the story.

But it doesn't stop at that. I continued doing more research and based off my signs.. it doesn't end at just what he feels internally. This is also an external leak.

A warning, maybe. A preparation. That something could surface, spill out, be exposed. I don’t know what that would look like- a message, an audio, a screenshot, words passed through someone else-I genuinely have no idea.

Today I started seeing signs like "her tears", "fights", "kleenex".

So something feels like it’s coming.

Maybe it already has.

Maybe I won’t know until much later.

All in all, I am in even a little bit of peace knowing that Allah wasn't just one-sided in this. That it wasn't just my own suffering. That Rafiq also has to pay the consequences of what we had. But it's not just about me wishing him suffering.. it's more about him finally acknowledging what we were.

Only time will reveal what any of this actually meant- or if it meant anything at all.