Dhikr In Color.

As the days passed, I found myself making more and more tasbihs.

I chose beads that felt beautiful that day- shades that stood out, pendants that pulled at me quietly. I thought I was simply picking what I liked...

What I didn’t realize then was that each tasbih was carrying meaning long before I understood it.

Each one I made was during a certain phase or stage of my awakening.

One day I made a really pretty blue/silver tasbih.

When I finished, I realized I had enough leftover beads to make another. I had only intended to make one, but somehow it became two. One for me. One for my sister. I planned for one… but Allah had written two.

Then the day I met my husband to sign the initial court papers, I made two beautiful tasbihs with similar pendants.. One pendant was a dragonfly and the other was a bee.

I didn't do it on purpose.

Those were simply the pendants my soul gravitated toward.

Another tasbih surprised me completely. I remember selecting the colors because they looked stunning together. Only after it was finished did it strike me: they were the colors of Pakistan.

That realization stopped me.

That tasbih suddenly meant more than design. It felt like lineage. Identity. Memory. Something ancestral stirring beneath aesthetics.

My best tasbih was actually a full 99 bead one with a huge red bow.

The beads are red, pink, and white. It's so gorgeous.

I wish I can show it to you guys.

Maybe one day.

I used to believe I was choosing my own colors. My own beads. My own pendants.

But now I see it differently.

I was being gently guided.