Why You're Not Able To Move On.

Let me guess. You tried everything-

Talking yourself out of it

Numbing yourself

Distracting yourself

Trying to kill the obsessive thoughts

Trying to avoid the fantasies

Trying to stop imagining scenarios

The list goes on..

You tried everything to make it stop. To make the feeling go away. To stop loving that man.

Yet nothing works.

That's when the truth comes in. Let's talk about it..

I am in this exact phase right now and the realization hit me.. literally now.

I tried so much. I truly did. A part of me still believes what if I try more- to forget about him. To stop thinking about him. To stop loving him. To stop desiring him. To stop obessing about him.

It works one day- the next day it doesn't.

My point is.. nothing works. I thought I was failing. I kept blaming myself.. I kept thinking that something is wrong with me. Why can't I just.. stop?

It wasn't until now that I realized- I can't stop. That is the truth. If you have gotten to this point, you need to hear it too. Please take what I am about to say very seriously.

There is nothing you can do to stop this.

Nothing.

The same way Allah tied you to this man.. Allah is in control of untying you. Allah decides when the time to release you from this is.. and until then, this is your test. And as painful as that sounds, you have to accept it.

You have to accept that Allah has made THIS you life's test. This man. This love. This awakening. There's nothing you can do.. to make it stop on your own.

So please stop blamng yourself. Stop beating yourself up for not being able to let go. You're not meant to let go.. because Allah is using this love to test you. To purify you. To bring you closer to your creator.

Yes- it's painful.. but at the same time, it brings me peace. Just knowing that it's out of my control. No matter what I do, until Allah says its time.. I will suffer in this love. In this pain. There's nothing I can do about it.

So.. just let go. Just breath. Relax. And just feel whatever it is that Allah wants you to feel.

It's there for a reason. And one day you will look back and not feel that pain anymore.

I wait for that day.