Silence: Allah's Gentle Answer To Your Dua.

During the stillness phase or known as the "cocoon phase", it feels like your duas are bouncing off the walls.

The past month or so that's how I have been feeling..

I made so many duas. I prayed tahajjud several times, even isthikhara.

I always ask for the same thing over and over..

"Allah- If what Rafiq and I have is true and if it's written for us to be together, then open an unexpected door that only you can open. If not, then gently remove him from my heart."

Everytime I made this dua, I would wait for an answer and it would never come.

Nothing would happen.

Some days I would get so frustrated.

Some days I wanted to stop praying.

At one point, I completely stopped making dua because I felt there was no point.. nothing was getting answered anyways.

This went on for awhile.

Then recently I read something that said-

Silence can be a form of Allah's answer.

And that hit me.

That was my answer.

I prayed tahajjud once again this morning even though every bone in my body wanted to continue laying down.. I still go up, prayed, and made the same exact dua..

However- this time I kept in mind that silence can be the answer.. and I have to be okay with that. And so far, it seems like it is.

Silence can be the answer for many different reasons..

The man may have been just a catalyst and his purpose in our story has been fulfilled..

The man may not be the best for us.. maybe someone better is written or yet to come..

Maybe there is harm in opening a door right now.. or it may just be a delay and the door will open later.

Whatever the case may be, its a no- for now, at least.

And as much as it makes us sad, we have to accept it.

We can't force anything. We can't force Allah to make something happen. We can't force the man to communicate with us. We can't force an outcome no matter how badly we want it.

The past month anytime nothing would happen, I would feel so anxious questioning "why isn't anything happening?" But for the first time today, I don't feel the anxiety. I feel like I got my answer and silence is the answer.