Islam Isn't Black Or White; It's Shades of Grey.

I don't even like the color grey. Never did. However, after this.. it sits in a special place in my heart. This is a big one.

I visited a couple friends last night and we were all discussing different rulings of Islam. We all like to debate alot and are very passionate when it comes to Islamic topics..

The question came up-

If Islam is black and white or if it has a grey area? All of my friends argued and gave references to the quran.. they gave many different examples on why Islam is black or white. How the rulings are very clear and written in the Quran. There is absolutely no confusion.. and how muslims tend to pick/choose what they want to follow and not follow.

I did agree on the last point.. however I was the only one with the opposing answer.

I said Islam has huge areas of grey.

It's not just black or white. And that's something my awakening has taught me.

I didn't go as far as talking about my awakening with them.. I honestly didn't even give good examples as to why I believe there are grey areas.. but I tried my best.

Here's why I believe Islam has grey areas and isn't just black or white. Yes- the rulings of Islam are pretty black or white. They are clearly written in the quran. The way of life is very clear. However.. we don't understand Allah's judgement.

Allah's judgement is weighed less by the act itself and more by the intention of the heart.. along with the specific circumstances of the individual..

Take my seperation into this..

On one hand you can argue that Allah dislikes divorce- on the other hand you can say that this is Allah's planning..

See, there's the grey area right?

I gave my own example to my friends, yet they didn't budge. I didn't try too hard because I knew in my heart that I was right.. no not right about the "debate".. It was the fact that I had the right feeling about Allah.

It's not that they were wrong from my opinon.. it was the fact that there was no depth.

They kept going on and on about quranic references.. and I didnt bother. I realized that they won't understand it.. and I can't seem to think the way they think.

After that I went to sleep.. and the next morning was another one of Allah's magical moments that made sense to me later on..

The whole day passed and I sit here now in solitude and it hit me all of a sudden.. that this morning when I woke up-

Allah dressed me in all grey.

I took a shower and put on a new set of grey sweater and pajamas..

It didn't hit me when I wore it- it hit me now. In solitude. That the previous night I sat there giving my answer about the grey areas.. and the next morning Allah dressed me in grey.

I am crying while writing this one.. because I sit here so shocked and not able to comprehend that how is Allah doing all of this.. I don't understand it. I wish I could understand it.

I sit here crying because even in those conversations, Every word that came out of my mouth, every sentence I spoke, every example I gave.. the knowing I had in my heart..

Allah confirmed it the very next day. He wasn't saying that I am right and they were wrong.. but that the feeling in my heart was the right direction.

That there are grey areas. Not everything is black or white.

Allah bringing my words as a symbol the very next day... What can be better than this?

Yes, I am so used to seeing synchronicities, colors, signs, names, etc. But this was the first time ever where my words about Islam were echoed back to me by Allah.. This moment was huge. And it's crazy to think that the whole day passed and I didn't connect the dots, until now.

I never liked the color grey. But after today- it sits in my heart.